So every day i’d come home from school, fix myself a sandwich, grab 2 little debbie oatmeal creme pies, go downstairs, and put in the same movie….
i guess I’ve never had any real ambition. When i think back over my life there are very few things that i can say that i’ve ever struggled after, and those few things have always been about proving something to myself more than acomplishing the thing i’ve set out to do.
I guess I started thinking about all this again the other day when my girlfriend and I were talking about what we were going to be doing with our lives, and for the life of me i simply could not come up with a single thing that sounded ambitious.
I want to travel, but that’s pleasure. I love writing and playing music, but again, pleasure. I don’t want to do anything with my music other than enjoy playing it. I want to build a house, the one i’ve been designing since I was 15, but again, pleasure….
Maybe it has something to do with my definition of Ambition. I think that it means to stuggle towards something that is hard to attain. Well that doesn’t quite fit, let’s consult the dictionary. It says: an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment.
ok so no i was right, my understanding of the definition is correct, and i don’t have any ambition. I don’t want to be anything other than what I am. I don’t want power, or honor, fame, or wealth…well money wouldn’t be bad but only if i could have it AND have all my free time to do what i wanted with that money.
I want a simple life, a simple home, simple pleasures like good food and good movies, great friends…you get the idea.
I guess ambition can be a good and bad thing. I’ve just never had it. I guess that means I won’t amount to anything important other than a good father and friend and a decent person…hopefully.
