Next time you get caught in a lie (so later on tonight probably) I say we all institute the comedic approach to dodging the issue.

Next time you get caught in a lie just say:

“I didn’t lie, man, I just told an untruthitude.”

“I don’t lie baby, I can’t lie, I’m from Truthiscatchuan!”  or maybe

I’ll tell you exactly what will happen, they’ll be caught off gaurd, they might even laugh…and there will be your chance to slip out of the noose that was tightening around your neck.

You get the feeling?  Roll with it make it work for you.

Notes:  Truthyness, truthicles, truthitude, and Truthishevitz are all acceptable as well.  For further instruction in the untruthicle…please contact Troy Cono…mentor in all untruthiness at www.troycono.com

If you were one of the millions of people who thought the 1st 4 was a plague of the gifts of sight and hearing you enjoy, then you’ll definitely want to miss this one. 

Try look past the comercialism that chokes the movies pacing, that’s wormed it’s way into every scene.  Look past the terrible script, over acting, and absolutely worthless plot twists and what do you have….you have a 92 minute special effects orgy.  YAAAHOOOO!!!  I came twice during the sceen where the Fantastic’s get in their DODGE jet-mobile and fly after DR. Doom, who’s not only NOT DEAD, but he’s stolen the Mercury Man’s all powerful surfboard and, with absolutely no destination in mind, fly’s away from the 4, now 5, with the less that shiney surfer on board.  They cross mainland china, incomplete without destroying the great wall, mountains crumble, arms are streached, skin scorched, and minds blown!!!

But let’s talk about the product placement…

This is really quite an accomplishment.  Never before have a seen a more blatantly money grubbing movie than this one! 

I’m certain the entire movie was one long commercial, and not the kind that makes you want to buy the products featured, but instead the kind that makes you want to kidnap and slowly destroy the people who designed it in some publically comical way. 

I move for the institution of Public Castration for crimes against common decency.

At one point FLAMER walks into the room wearing what looks like a NASCAR suit COVERED in advertising…These we are told, are the teams new suits, sponsors for the team.  It’s amazing.  Infact, now that I think about it, this movie must have been designed for the mouth breathing masses dedicated to the love of Nascar.  Only a marble mouthed someone who would pay for a concrete bench to park their supersized ass on so they can watch 100 cars screaming in an all too interesting circle for hours and hours could possibly tolerate this movie.

I can’t believe i didn’t think of it before!  Nascar and the people supporting it are who’s responsible for this movie.  So let me refrase…

If you love Nascar, you’ll Love: The Fantastic 4: Rise of the silver surfer.

I got to the office this morning and this fax was sitting in the machine.  We must have recieved it last night.  It read:

The janitorial service contracted to clean [our offices/restrooms] has made numerous reports to us that items have been stolen from common areas on a routine basis.  Last weekend, they spotted a person coming from your office stealing toilet paper.

Since there is no way of knowing the extent of the loss for this, I am only assessing your company an additional $25 to re-supply the missing toilet paper.  I also ask that you inform all personnel at this location to immediately stop this behavior.

As you can imagine, we all immediately wanted to know who was stealing toilet paper and how in the world they were caught while doing it.

Well there’s only one person at the office who works on Saturday so the assumption was obvious.  When he arrived at the office and was confronted with this….he sent us this email.

Hey Guys, I know that Alfredo started the rumor that I am a TP thief based on a fax that we got today. Since he keeps bothering me with the topic, I want to get it straight … I am not a TP thief…. I may sometimes rob old ladies’ purses, but believe me, I don’t steal TP. I AM NOT THAT LOW OF A ROBBER. 

The Facts:  Last Saturday my girl and I were enjoying a healthy burrito from Betos here at the office while I dropped some sauce on the floor. I went to the bathroom to get some TP; then, in my way to the bathroom, I found this big old fat lady telling me not to use the TP for the Office. Suddenly, I became a TP thief.  

 

I bet she is the robber and she wants to charge us some money… my gosh! J

I think we all have to ask ourselves the question “Am I a TP thief?”  

 

Have a wonderful day.

needless to say.  i like where i work and who i work with.

Lately i’ve been getting to bed much earlier than normal.

I would say that on average i don’t get to sleep until about 1am.  When i’m not having to finish things on my own for the day i’m being kept awake by my raucus housemates.  Things ususally don’t calm down until 1am so i usually don’t sleep untiil then.

So i’ve found that if i get to bed earlier…like say around 10pm…:)….the party hasn’t started yet and it doesn’t wake me when it does.  So lately i’m getting to bed around 10 or 10:30.

Only consequence is that I simply cannot seem to convince my body to get more than 8 hours of sleep.  So i’m waking up around 6am everyday.  I get up, i take my dog outside, sometimes i work out, i take a shower, I read, and sometimes i even just sit outside.  the sun in the morning feels great.

it’s relaxing.  and i like my mornings, i’m more alert when i go into work, and i think i have a better day when i have some time for myself in the mornings.

So i took my bike back to tooele to get it’s pipes custom made this weekend.  The bike was just soooo freakin loud.  Not that it will quiet down much at all, but it will provide added back pressure to the engine which will allow it to run much smoother.

While i was there however, i saw that Adam makes Bobbers too.  (if you don’t know what a bobber is, it’s the opposite end of the custom line.  Not smooth and low but tall and mean looking.)  Well, i’m ashamed to admit that i almost bought the one right there on the spot.

After talking with him for a while he actually offered to build one for me for cheap since i’d already bought another bike off him.  So i’m debating it.

I know I know, I already have a bike.  True.  You have a point.  But this one will have 2 seats…

That’s the only justification i have to offer. 

It will be drab green on a black frame.  The tank will have a pinup lady on the left side (like they used to have on the front of war planes back in the World Wars)  and a faded White star on the right side.  That’s the concept i’m giving him, and then he’d flesh it out.

Anyway let me know what you think.